When Lucas was first diagnosed and we began sharing with others for the first time that our son had autism, I remember feelings of sadness, sometimes embarrassment, and almost always with a sense of mourning of the things that we would “never” experience with our less than typical little boy. The face of the person we were telling always seemed to confirm those feelings of sadness, loss and almost pity, when the individual would utter the words, “I’m sorry.”
Those feelings seem like such a distant past. We have learned through this journey that our unhappiness is not inevitable, that we can choose how we feel about everything in our lives. We chose to see hope, beauty, joy and possibilities even through adversity and judgement.
Now when somebody looks at me with those eyes and says, “I’m sorry,” I tell them, “don’t be.” We are most-certainly blessed! Our son has opened our door to joy and happiness through teaching us what it is to truly love and accept someone, including ourselves. The need for SOME thing to happen in order to feel that joy is no longer necessary. We can own whatever feeling we choose and we can move past it if we like, or we can wallow in it. In the end….it’s our choice! The knowledge of that alone is unbelievably freeing and open to endless possibility!