This week I wanted to show a video of what it looks like when we are inspiring growth in the Son-Rise program (focusing on social goals). Many traditional modalities “go against the grain” by sitting a child down and endeavoring to teach through endless repetition. Instead, the Son-Rise program focuses on uncovering your child’s unique motivations and using these motivations to teach them the skills they need to learn. We then have our child’s willing participation and longer attention span which in turn makes reaching these goals feel effortless when they are happening within the interaction.
Some of the most important pieces of inspiring growth include:
- Believing in your child! If you don’t have the belief that your child can break through, then you will never inspire them to do so!
- Want freely for your child to reach for the sky without the pressure or fear that they can’t or won’t.
- Offer a compelling invitation! Entice, entertain, attract your child to draw them into wanting to take that next step to grow!
- Be passionately persistent! Want everything and need nothing for your child. I’ve written on this fundamental in a past blog. It’s about accepting your child and loving them as they are, but also believing in their ability to grow without needing it to happen in order to love and accept them. When we are happy and nonjudgmental, we are free to want anything and pursue it. This is because our happiness is not contingent on getting what we want. We can persist joyously – undaunted by apparent failure, without frustration.
- Impassion yourself! This will impassion your child! We inspire them!
- Be profoundly flexible. Let go of agendas.
(Much of the above is excerpted from the Son-Rise principles manual with a few liberties of my own.)
So the video below, is another one of me working with Lucas on the social goal “inspiring Lucas to use nonverbal gestures.” You will see that Lucas’s motivation here is the squeezes. Something to note, I gave squeezes freely for a while before this video begins . When I could see his motivation level going up, I began asking for thumbs up and nodding to tell me he wanted more squeezes. You will notice I respond enthusiastically to every attempt or verbal “yes” he gives me. However, when he does attempt the thumbs up and also nods for me, I really amp up the enthusiasm and the squeezes.
We are both truly enjoying this interaction and the crazier I get, the more he smiles and responds to me. Also something else to note is that when I am asking for these gestures, they are not “hoops” to jump through. Any language or response from him gets a response from me, because he is interacting and communicating with me! I model the gesture as I am amping up the anticipation for the coming squeezes and he is very motivated to play with me.