Our Son-Rise Journey

They show us the way in, and then we show them the way out….Joining is that way!

15/09/25 at 10.47am   /   by sdcarlson   /   0 Comment

Think of it like this: your child is a member of a tiny little club with only himself as a member.  The solution isn’t to try to destroy the club.  Rather, the solution is to do whatever it takes to get in!                         -Raun Kaufman

 

So it is no secret that my favorite thing in the playroom is to join.  As Lucas has become more interactive, there has been much less of this.  His exclusive activities have mostly become interactive.  It used to be that he did these things by himself to the exclusion of those around him, but he now looks at us during these moments as if we are riding a carnival ride together and enjoying the same thrill of the activity.  That is why I know joining has been such a pivotal part of this program in relating to my barely reachable son.

Why do I love to join?  There are so many reasons but I will give you my favorites.

  1. Joining shows such a form of respect to the child you are doing this with.  For example, when you are in a relationship with someone, or love someone, you naturally enjoy many aspects of this person but aren’t going to enjoy EVERY activity they do.  However, part of loving someone is understanding and respecting the things they enjoy.    By joining our children, we are showing them that we respect them as a person.
  2. We show them that we love them by doing the things they are doing.  My husband may not enjoy the sappy movie I want to watch, but he loves to see me enjoy it.  He shows me he loves me by watching it with me and finding some aspect of enjoyment in it for himself.  By showing enjoyment in our joining activities with our children, we are showing them through our actions that we love them.
  3. Acceptance!  One of my favorites.  So much of what our children enjoy to do, no one else around them is doing.  They are  isolated by many  by this fact alone.  When we join in and enjoy every aspect of what they are doing, we are telling them we accept them.
  4. When joining in these activities with my son, I come to a deeper level of understanding him.  Since he is unable to communicate the way a neurotypical person does, it gives me  insight into what he may enjoy.  When I join,  I begin to allow myself to feel the sensations he may be feeling (see what he is seeing, hear the different sounds or effects he is hearing, etc.).  When we are aware of someone’s motivations, we can better relate to them.
  5. This one is is really a selfish one…lol.  It is so therapeutic!!  When  you concentrate on every sensation an activity gives you, you leave all of the STUFF swirling around in your head and are able to relax.  You then allow yourself to let go and go to another place.  It’s a very peaceful place to be!

So, I know I am always showing what is considered the bright and shining moments to most on the outside, but I wanted to share one of my favorite activities in the playroom which is joining with my sweet boy.  It’s these moments where I feel most connected to him and where I learn so much about both of us. Lucas is pretty interactive in parts of this activity and you will see/hear me celebrate his eye contact,etc.  However, I hope you see the beauty in joining!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv4-Q_Geobs&feature=youtu.be

 

It’s all about connecting….

15/09/19 at 8.56pm   /   by sdcarlson   /   0 Comment

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I can’t believe it has been a year since we started our Son-Rise Program!  One incredible year!!  I have so much respect for this program and the life it has given to me and my family!  A life full of gratitude instead of anger, joy instead of pain, a  life focused on beautiful moments instead of negative emotions, and most of all a life full of HOPE instead of despair.  My son has been such an amazing gift to us!!  Look at all we have been given because of his beautiful existence….gratitude, joy, love, beautiful moments, hope!

I am always going on and on about the progress Lucas has made.  He hit more social goals in the first month of this program than he did in three years of anything else.  I’m going to throw some more love out to there to all of the people who have been there for our family  and our son.  Our volunteers, who amazingly commit not only their time but have to put a huge part of themselves out there in order for this to be successful.  It’s another level of volunteering that few are called to do.  They are what I call my gems and they are amazing!  Also, our friends and family,  who are consistently there supporting us with love, donations, kind words.  It is an unbelievably amazing thing to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable, and to see the amount of love and support there is around you!  I think everyone should have an experience that allows them the chance to be truly vulnerable.  It’s a humbling and life-fulfilling experience.  Our life is fuller than I ever would’ve expected because of this.

Also, I have been told 4 times now by complete strangers that my son seems so full of joy.  Joy! Who uses the word joy?! Everyone talks about being happy.  The word happy to me seems to require something to happen in order to have a happy feeling.  JOY, however, is a state of being.  To have four complete strangers use the word “joy” is enough for me!  I don’t even need goals to be met.   My son is joyful!  Everything else is just icing on the cake.  He is continually making progress, but I am most effected to my core by the light my son has become, the light that strangers recognize as joy!  Below is a video of him with one of our volunteers radiating this in such a beautiful  moment and interaction.

https://youtu.be/a848H8Q8Tss

 

Need Nothing, But want everything!

15/09/04 at 12.52pm   /   by sdcarlson   /   0 Comment

“Need Nothing, but want everything for your child with autism!”

A Son-Rise quote and fundamental of this program.

It’s an amazing thing to truly love, accept and treasure your special child for who they are in this moment. This statement is not about believing they don’t have the potential to grow.  IT IS ABOUT not needing them to do or be anything in order to be loved and appreciated for who they are while still wanting everything and more for them! It’s about giving them the love and support they need so they can grow and reach their full potential!

We had a huge breakthrough in the playroom this past week! Lucas in the past has really enjoyed slap-stick humor in our play with him, watching us doing more so than him doing.  In the clip below, Lucas falls down and the kicker…..on purpose….to be silly!  He initiates this interaction that lasted close to 15 minutes.  He kept concocting situations where he would dramatically fall down to make me laugh.  It was such a beautiful and unbelievably fun moment in the playroom.  I am so happy that I was the one who got to play this game with him!!!

https://youtu.be/OWRWKyMWAyM

My second clip is again of me this past week.  We are working on physical participation in an interaction.  This interaction lasted close to 20 minutes.  It started with just us running.  Then running ending in a tickle/hug.  Then me requesting Lucas to push me to get me running for the tickle/hug.  Then Lucas pushing me with no direction other than me freezing.  I am amazed at how effortless his participation is happening and how much he is investing himself in our fun together!  I hope you enjoy this as much as I certainly did!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdGEcty9MQc&feature=youtu.be